damage per second

1. modded layout! now this is more like it XD i want a new, better layout though. something clean and modern and monochromatic and with photographic layout feel. i still feel this layout is cluttered.

2. finally! Fantastico = Wordpress 2.6! i lost my categories though, ugh, and had to re-categorize all entries half of the day, thus costing me sleeping time >.<. i don’t know if i should be happy or not that i actually have 100+ entries already @___@;;. and mostly all just ramblings…

3. omg i didn’t realize i’m already halfway through my picture wishlist askdfgkdgjldlskl:

and that Sard is actually already halfway through the layaway. so, technically, 5.5/10. or, more accurately, 5.5/21, if considering the next in priority in the wishlist (the complete list on my Wish —> page!):

11. SSDF body (real skin white)
12. Blueblood Silver
13. Dollzone Hong (white?/normal?)
14. AiL Bertram (white)
15. DiM Nakagauchi Masataka (white) yes XD
16. DiM Baba Tooru (white) i’m too excited to do all his beauty marks already asldkfjslfkdslk
17. DiM L’oeil
18. DM Huey Lewis
19. Soom Lazule / Spinel(<–still bummed about which mold, really = cream white + bjd hands)
20. Dollzone 70cm body + new (72cm’s) hands (white) the bulkiness/Volks-ishness of this body somehow still has appeal to me
21. Feeple Boy Body (white)

…how the hell did my wishlist get this long anyway =___=;;;…?

after layaway-ing Sard, i think i’ll layaway Pado next (if he doesn’t get sold out by the time i can layaway him, that is -__-;). and in the process or right after, i think i’ll either save up for that digital Canon and/or pay off my debts (=___^;;). Luts just go ahead and do not release the real-skin white SSDF yet XD.

4. I’ve already also put up my Personae page too —> and my Moon is already… nameless. i actually already have a name for him, but i will christen him on the proper date^^;;…

5. i caved >__< :

it’s those tassels. those tassels of doom, i tell you. and the jewelry. and the way the cloth falls and flows around too.

i would have wanted this as well:

but i still have to buy two epic Dollheart outfits >.<:

*…dies*

…someday. someday.

6. the battle of the 70cms chart updated! (but mainly I call this my Big Boys Chart now XD):

7. is this actually safe for bjds? (as in no oil-seepage from it in the future or something >.<? just using it for the occasional prop-holding, not for semi-permanent eye putty… i’m paranoid. and somehow i couldn’t find info on the chemical components of this product at the net):

( other things that have popped up during the past few days but i could not avail of =__=;;… )

i ate marshmallow and some instant noodles to start the day lol. it was not just a “marshmallow”, it was a “maaaaarshmaaaaaaaaaaaallooooooooooooow”. because it was really long lol! and “to start the day” because i have this habit of getting really hungry when 12am and 3am comes, that sometimes i couldn’t help but really wake up during that time whatever it takes and just that because i couldn’t cook full-blown meals for the life of me (started eating at 3am today actually, because 12am i was drowsy and slept for a while!). doesn’t help either that Masa’s talking about food… i wanna try shabu-shabu! i saw a shabu-shabu restaurant this weekend! but it was “Mini Shabu-Shabu” so i don’t have an idea how “mini” it is ^^;;;)

i also managed to do most of the laundry today *quite accomplished*

also! i think this is my final wishlist! by order in which they’re supposed to be bought!:

…well, i hope so. haha ^^;;; i just want Flood’s body too, in white skin, and poor Spinel pushed way back down. i added the Silver there because i had decided i really want to see for myself if he would BE my Kim though deep in my heart i already have a feeling he would be… my poor Moon =(.

my new DoA sig as well:

ah how i wish i had lots of money to just complete this thing.

my MU download keeps on dying too. ugh. oh it’s working a bit finer now.

i’ll be contacting Crescent Shop today, and Soom too. maybe bargain with Soom moving my next layaway schedule to the end of July? because i’ll be buying some Ba-chon travelogue and DL5 dvd heehee. i wish Soom will allow me… *cross fingers*

i’m also still upset about… yes, you already know (read back). being at the mercy of other people… i never liked that feeling -___-.

not so edit: my sabotenda i finally picked up from my post office today. OF COURSE. THIS ALSO. MEANS WAR >= ( :

my Ryo biyou no karte is the last time i’ll ever use the non-registered airmail service. i swear. dammit it just sunk to me again that those girls actually sent out the airmail non-registered. grr >= (.

…i hope this is the first and last time i’d ever wage war against anybody on LJ. no matter how diplomatic it would sound to be.

i didn’t want to term it as a “war”, but technically this feels like i’m about to go into a very long battle >__<. those girls aren’t e-mailing yet (on vacation), and i’m getting even more upset by the day. i just want this solved… though it might mean i would just get a refund and not get the Rikkai photosets after all well i fucking hope for a refund at least >.<. so much for waiting, and trusting those girls’ claimed reputation in handling those type of orders “efficiently”. even though i heard ordinary airmail has a disclaimer that it would possibly get lost (though i really swear i didn’t see any kind of disclaimer on the preorder post), OF COURSE I WOULD STILL DAMN STRUGGLE — its my friggin $96 after all >= (.

and this had been my first time doing this too. i hate feeling this fucked…

and as much as i want to keep this between me and the sellers (that’s why i even suggested the e-mail correspondence in the first place), i really can’t help but think about murderous rebuttals and thoughts in my head when worst comes to worst…

i hate conflict, but i still damn know when to fight for my right.

…i also better stop before i get anymore angry than i already am…

sorry if my post sounds so schizo. i’m starting to go Seth-ish. i’m just really pretty upset lately. must be lack of nutrition too >_>.

so basically i went “meh” again and just went ahead to buy myself some Good*Come magazines, the recent Cool-B mag (Sweet Pool! *dance!*), and that Ryo biyou no karte (やった…). i would have wanted to buy some Arena 37°C Specials as well but my cc is again maxed @___@;;. damn the time Leon white would finally release itself -___- — i’ll just think about where the hell i’ll get the money for that head when it’s already really there. meh. yes, I have prioritized getting my own dose of MasaxBa-chon instead of having Vincent’s mold finalized hahahaXD. as i’ve said, my patience has its limits, and i’m never really good with waiting.

which reminds me… those Rikkai photosets >.<. yes.
and about my oh-so conflicted view on finding the “real” Kim… i think i’m nearing the point where I’d actually replace my Redemption The Moon and get the Blueblood’s Silver as THE Kim. ken’s comments made me doubletake again^^;;;. if i’ll be getting the Silver, i might be modding the forehead… i dunno. make the eyebrow bridges higher…?

and being there’s a vast amount of taller white bodies out there, i think i won’t have a problem anymore regarding Kim’s supposed-to-be height compared to Shi (Shi would be the 70cm Abadon head+SSDF white skin hybrid, while Kim would more likely be a 65cm body… a Soom? its muscle detail is not so Kim though). but then… the skin tone *dies*. i wouldn’t want them in the same skintone, but… unless Blueblood creates a Silver Normal skintone matching Soom’s i wouldn’t be able to do anything…

i think i’ll just wait and see what happens to Blueblood in the next months i hope Silver wouldn’t run out of stock by then yet.

…but nuuuuu… I LOVE MY MOON ;___; *huggggggggggcry*. yes i’m so loyal to it like that, and somehow re-delegation feels like i’m betraying him ;^;... maybe he’ll just be Toru(?) then, the counterpart to my Sard which I have talked about some posts ago. but what will happen to my Bertram head then…? =___=;;;…..

i… don’t know. i’m really still thinking about this =___=…

asdfdfdkghdlgkjl WAWA has done it again:

trying… my best… to… resist… asdkfhskghkgldslgldg purple *___*…. no Salla you don’t need anymore clothes >.<…!

and i don’t know if i’ll purchase High Profile from nDoll or just wait for it to come out at Dollheart itself. argh.

…why am i still even thinking about this, when i don’t have anymore money. ROFL.

admittedly, i’ve somehow had this kind of partiality with Kimberly. almost like, the mold is not really the character itself… or the mold just not really being “there”. like THE Kim is still lacking (and it’s not because of the 60.5 height =/).

the reason why Kim is still with me and not being sold off is because the attitude of the character is there. and my partiality for my dolls is part of my love for them. just like in Seth’s case — though the eyes are too big and the skin too white and the elf ears are there i’m still keeping him (and it’s not just because he’s a “limited” mold, and damn i’m still even keeping his sleeping vampire head too and it’s not just for posterity reasons >.<…)

then i see this:

www.blueblooddoll.com

certainly looks like a permutation of the Yder. the only thing i see lacking in this mold is that regal-looking nose THE Kimberly is supposed to have. so, again, like The Moon as Kim, it’s still not “there”.

…granted, i do recognize that no doll mold there could come really really really close to the design of the characters in my mind except maybe the Abadon head as my Shi of course XD.

so i shouldn’t be tempted. really. *tries hard not to do major fail* the only thing that’s kinda stopping me from caving in is the fact that he’s only white skin. and Kimberly is not supposed to have white skin so that my Shi’s skin color would stand out in contrast.

on real life note, i’m basically trying to survive now so i could still move on to the next level of job nesting period and pay off Sard until at least the end of the layaway period. yes. so i’m busy and stressed like hell for this whole hell week right now. how i wish it was already friday but how i wish i wouldn’t get kicked out of my job yet, despite all the major fail i seem to be doing. i don’t really know what’s wrong with me =____= (or, most likely, its the job description itself that is not my specialty after all). and i’m not getting enough sleep again. damn.

i’m disappointed. the SSDF made for sale are only Realskin Normal = (.

anyway, that means my cc is safe. but still i’m sad. argh i have to wait for a white skin release then…

my current lustwishlist!:

? – i’m not sure of getting this mold anymore, or the mold’s limited and already gone though there are speculations Tsukasa will return XDDD…
Celine’s now “?” status mainly because I’m thinking that the character for this would be that Kato Kazuki Minimee I’m planning to have… which brings us to the fact that I’m thinking of having a Masa, Ba-chon, and Shirotan Minimee as well, aside from a L’oeil (which was formerly a Bliss…)
Flood is mainly… I just want his body XD. for my Abadon’s head XDDDD (Shi!). and do you notice that the Spinel’s already far back in my priority list?? …yes XDD (I might end up buying the Lawrence and the Kara Klum first, actually…)

but with a list this long, I’m seriously thinking of some way now to fund my doll hobby =___= (and pay DEBTS @__@!). my salary is reaaaallllyyyy not enough =___=;;;…

updated Battle of the 70cms chart (someone reminded me that there is BuddyDoll as well… argh >.<…) :

argh… i seriously need to sleep now =___=.

what i just saw this morning after work. OMFG. *brain has promptly shut down and went to heavenXD*

it’s so different from the SDF ne??? NE???:

( thus i had been randomly spazzing at DoA XDDDDD: )

i feel ill today. urgh @__@. and i realize it’s already May 18! time flies so fast ne~~~ and i hope the time until payday comes by faster! but that’s still at the end of the month @__@;;. i have passed Preparatory training at my job as well! Product Specifics starting tomorrow! we celebrated afterwards at a bar though i was supposed to go home hahaha X_x. too bad though one of us didn’t make it, unexpectedly, and four of us transferred to the other class just because of protocol reasons… just as my batchmates have all been closer now than before for just a week: what sharing of personal stuff could do to a group haha

anyway, i sort of made up my mind that I would take the chance and make L’oeil as a Minimee. thus! my doll wishlist:

I didn’t include the Minimees here as I feel lazy and ill @___@. the Minimees are L’oeil, Kato Kazuki, Nakagauchi Masataka, Baba Tooru, and Shirota Yuu, in order. But, most particular in importance though is Masa and Baba XD because I’m practically gushing over their DL5 photosets and fanservicing right now XDDDD —

— as you can see right here… AND OMG IT’S MY UPDATED WISHLUSTLIST OF DOOM >.<. how the hell did it get so overblown like this >___>;;;…

And I’ve made up my mind on putting that Soom Sard on layaway as well such brave and stupid me@___@. my self-control is really made of fail. damn though the reality that Soom only answers their Q&A’s late on weekdays *hits head*, so i have to wait VEEEERY patiently >____>.

And as much as I want to make him my Shi, I somehow know it couldn’t work because of those elf ears >___>. and i’m just too picky to sand it to normal, and Shi is supposed to be looking very normal. yes, there’s no normal ears interchangeable option for this guy, and no full ball-jointed hands option either (that’s what I actually asked at the Q&A, if I could pay extra just to get the full bjd hands as well Super Gems are supposed to have @___@).

i’m actually quite disappointed at this fact and warred with myself all throughout the weekend if i should push through with him. but since he’s so beautiful and those hooves are really made of epic, I relented =___=. epicness gets me everytime.

and I’ve also realized long ago that if ever, Vincent (the one that would be represented by the Leon-White) would most certainly need a separate body from Shi because of his huge tattoo detail. I would still buy the Abadon to be my Shi, and I would still buy a Spinel because the Spinel would still be my Stephen and his body (with the full bjd hands, if Soom wouldn’t agree to my proposal with Sard=___=;;) would be shared by the Abadon head. the abadon’s body would go to my Minimee L’oeil. the Sard being Stephen doesn’t work either =___= but he’ll surely make very good use of those Sard horns when he’ll be cosplaying for Saki hahahaXD.

I’m actually kind of already warming up to the idea of getting a tan Dollshe Rosen to be that Hindu character i’ve been talking about (that was supposed to be represented by my Bertram, but because of the Bertram’s color and features couldn’t). the Bertram I’d just make into this other character instead though once again i’m having little doubts on because the character i have in mind doesn’t look exactly like a Bertram, which is connected to the Sard.

so yes, these two are actually on a different universe from my DP:SCHISM characters XD (under what i call “Project DDS”, actually just a handle of the real title and story I’ve first thought of somewhere around 2006-2007 but I haven’t drawn yet like in DP:SCHISM format^^;;;… so i’m not saying anymore XD). so those Sard hooves will be put into VERY GOOD USE XDDDD.

also, today Elemental at DoA finally answered my query just when i thought she had forgotten about me @___@;;.

and i’m also itching to get myself some Wild Strawberry accessories >.< (Masa’s line, hahaha… i’m really weak when it comes to these kind of stuff =___=). but common sense is telling me to mind my late May and upcoming June amortization, the additional payment i still have to make for my incoming motherboard, payment for Elemental, payment for the upcoming Leon-White head, reserving some payment for the Togainu no chi PS2 order I made that would be charging me at the 25th which was sadly robbed by that devil Sard x__X, and Dollheart possibly releasing bombshells again with High Profile, Winter Walk, and Gray Gentleman at June oh I haven’t bought Blue Blood yet @___@;;;….

…i really need more money *dies* and recently i’ve been tempted too to just go the fuck ahead and start putting Ice Pado on layaway just to secure him… even when i really don’t have money left… dammit >___<.

so aside from wishlusting right now to buy Ba-chon’s “Babansu Style ~other cut version~” and Masa’s “Half Moon” (idol photobooks… yeah XDDD):

OMFGWTFSHT *hits head on wall* FATE WHY MUST YOU CHALLENGE MY SELF-CONTROL AGAIN >__<????

…i really thought Soom wasn’t serious, buh =___=…

if he’s in cream white and he’s ALSO got the bjd hands option i think i’d definitely get him >.<… (i’m quite concerned though about the… elf ear thingy action going on??? i hope that’s replaceable with normal ears… or noooo >.<… i’ve always liked my boys normal…)

I’m technically calculating now how much money i could manage on layaway now… *hits head again* thank goodness for Soom’s layaway option… but STILL =___= i think i don’t have enough money left after that DL5 order.

…but honestly, i’m kind of torn now between getting him asap and or just holding out and getting a Spinel… because i really think they look alike >.< (though everyone at DoA was thinking Dia… i’m just thinking getting BOTH Spinel and Sard are so in my dreams >__<;; ). or.. le gasp… LOOKS LIKE ABADON???:
vs vs

ehh… am i seeing triplets???(or twins?? in Sard and Abadon’s case???) or am i just imagining things >.< ???

i think my decision all depends if he’s cream white, got the bjd hands as well, and those elf ears are actually normal or replaceable >.< (i find the elf ears really weird… because my character will be a human after all… but of course he’ll be cosplaying… *cough* for Saki… hahaha plotbunnymuchXDDDDDD).

er… as much as possible i don’t want my doll molds looking alike. SERIOUSLY >.< (i’m specially disturbed over the Abadon = Sard connection >.<… because THAT ABADON IS SHI AND MY MAIN CHARACTER DAMMIT AND I DON’T WANT SHI LOOKING LIKE STEPHEN). though i’m really EXTREMELY tempted to just buy a white Spinel head as well to get my self-disturbance over with >__>.

I mean… THIS IS EPICNESS, AFTER ALL.

…there goes my plans again out the window (Leon white and Ice Pado are SOOO in danger of not being bought right now >.<…)

also (from a question posted so long long ago it’s almost like history =___=):

>shinya wrote :
>>hello, I hope you would consider releasing a 70cm version of the Super Gem male body.
>>
>>because it has a very good sculpture, and it would be even more wonderful if you do a 70cm version of it. 65cm somehow seems still short^^;;.
>>
>>also, I hope you’d consider selling the Super Gem male body separately.
>
>
>
Kelly wrote :
>Dear shinya,
>
>Thanks for your interest in our doll.
>Regarding your message,
>Thanks for your great opinion for our dolls.
>We’ll do our best to meet your demands.
>But we don’t have any confirmed plan yet.
>
>If there’s any updated news, we will post on Notice board.
>
>Sincerely,
>Kelly.